Kyrie

" When I was young I thought of growing old
Of what my life would mean to me
Would I have followed down my chosen road
Or only wished what I could be"

from "Kyrie" by Mr Mister

I met up with some very old school friends (I've known them for 22 years) just before Hari Raya Haji. One quit his job last year to be a full time insurance agent, while another continued to struggle with his life and gambling habit. On the surface, I seem to be better off than both of them, but I over the past week I realized that I was more unhappy than they are. I think specifically my work and the amount of time that I dedicate to the things that matter to me. I had not felt any sense of satisfaction from either one of them for the past six months.

Been doing a lot of thinking about my life and discussing them with my other half.

In a sense I feel trapped, but maybe I'm not thinking right. Maybe I just need to break a few assumptions and see things in a different way in order to find a way out.

I first heard Kyrie when I was in Form 5, trying to decide where I wanted to go after the exams. Now, listening to this song again, the answer seems to be "only wished what I could be".

Hope I will find an answer soon.